Praise
be to Allah
If your husband
is spending on you and on his children, then it is not permissible for you
to take any of his money, because it is haraam to take money except with the
consent of its owner. Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“O
you who believe! Eat not up your property among yourselves unjustly except
it be a trade amongst you, by mutual consent”
[an-Nisa’
4:29].
And the Prophet
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Verily your blood, your
wealth and your honour are sacred to one another, as sacred as this day of
yours in this month of yours in this land of yours. Let those who are
present convey it to those who are absent.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (67) and
Muslim (1679).
And he
(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “It is not permissible to
take the wealth of a Muslim unless he gives it willingly.” Narrated by Ahmad
(20172); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel (1459).
If he falls
short in obligatory spending, it is permissible for you to take that from
his wealth on a reasonable basis, because of the hadith of ‘Aa’ishah (may
Allah be pleased with her) according to which Hind bint ‘Utbah said: O
Messenger of Allah, Abu Sufyaan is a stingy man and he does not give me what
is sufficient for me and my children, except what I take from him without
him knowing. He said: “Take what is sufficient for you and your child on a
reasonable basis.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5364).
But if he is not
falling short in obligatory spending, then it is not permissible for you to
take anything of his wealth without his consent.
So beware of
taking from his wealth that which is not permissible for you, or of hiding
anything of it, even if that is on the grounds of saving it for his
children, because you have no authority to do that and the children have no
right to their father’s wealth whilst he is still alive, apart from what is
needed for their maintenance, unless your husband gives you permission to
save (some of his money), in which case there is nothing wrong with doing
so.
So if you tell
him that you are going to save any surplus from household costs for the
children, for example, and he gives permission to do that, then there is
nothing wrong with it, and it will come under the heading of a conditional
gift to be given when one has the means to do so.
You should also
advise your husband to fear Allah, may He be exalted, to remember that He is
always watching, and to take care of his wealth.
You should also
be wise in calling him to goodness and diverting him from evil; you should
be patient and seek reward with Allah, and focus on raising your children.
You should be patient in bearing what you dislike of his conduct, for that
is better for you than destroying the household and causing hardship to the
children.
The Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Know that there is a
great deal of good in patiently bearing what is disliked, victory comes with
patience and relief comes with distress and with hardship comes ease”
Narrated by Ahmad (2803) and others, from the hadith of Ibn ‘Abbaas. Classed
as saheeh by Shaykh Ahmad Shaakir and the commentators on al-Musnad.
Please see also
the answer to question no. 154172, in which we
described some wise methods that the wife may follow in calling her husband.
We ask Allah to
guide your husband and put your mind at rest.
And Allah knows
best.