Praise
be to Allah
Regarding the
hadith mentioned, there is no basis for it from the Prophet (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) and we have not come across any isnad for it,
whether saheeh (sound) or da‘eef (weak).
As for greeting
the wife with salaam when entering the house, doing so is Sunnah, and
several hadiths have been narrated concerning it.
One of these
hadith is that which was narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan (2494),
from Abu Umaamah al-Baahili, from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him), who said: “There are three, all of whom are
under the guarantee of Allah: a man who goes out to fight in Allah’s cause,
for he is under the guarantee of Allah, such that if he dies, He will admit
him to Paradise, or He will cause him to return with what he has attained of
reward and booty; a man who goes to the mosque, for he is under the
guarantee of Allah, such that if he dies, He will admit him to Paradise, or
He will cause him to return with what he has attained of reward and booty;
and a man who enters his house with the greeting of salaam, for he is under
the guarantee of Allah.”
This hadith was
classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani, as it says in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
Another of these
hadiths is that which was narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan (5096)
from Abu Maalik al-Ash‘ari, who said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and
peace of Allah be upon him) said: “When a man enters his house, let him say:
‘O Allah, I ask You for good when entering and when exiting. In the name of
Allah we enter and in the name of Allah we exit, and in Allah our Lord we
put our trust,’ then let him greet his family.”
This hadith was
classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani, as it says in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah
(225).
As for shaking
hands, there are several haditha which indicate that it is mustahabb when
meeting, in general terms.
One of these
hadiths is that which was narrated by Abu Dawood in his Sunan (5212)
and by at-Tirmidhi in his Sunan (2727), from al-Bara’ ibn ‘Aazib who
said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
said: “There are no two Muslims who meet and shake hands but they will be
forgiven before they part.”
This hadith was
classed as hasan by Shaykh al-Albaani in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah
(525) when all its isnaads are put together.
Another is the
hadith narrated by at-Tabaraani in al-Mu‘jam al-Awsat (245) from
Hudhayfah ibn al-Yamaan, from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) who said: “Verily, when one believer meets another, greets him
with salaam, takes hold of his hand and shakes hands with him, their sins
fall away like leaves falling from a tree.”
Shaykh al-Albaani
classed the isnad of this hadith as saheeh in as-Silsilah as-Saheehah
(526).
Shaking hands is
Sunnah when meeting.
An-Nawawi said
in al-Majmoo‘ (4/633): Shaking hands is Sunnah when meeting, because
of the saheeh hadiths and the consensus of the leading scholars. End quote.
So if a man
enters his house, greets his family with salaam and shakes hands with his
wife, all of that is good.
And if he limits
it to saying salaam when he leaves the house and enters the house, then he
has done what is Sunnah, in sha Allah, and that is good for him and for his
family members.
As for the
hadith which the questioner quoted from some preacher about it being
mustahabb for a man to shake hands with his wife specifically, there is no
basis for that, as stated above.
Finally,
preachers and callers, and Muslims in general, should be careful when
attributing any hadith to the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon
him) lest they be included with those who tell lies about the Messenger of
Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), who said: “Whoever
attributes any words to me that I did not say, let him take his place in the
Fire.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari in his Saheeh (109).
And Allah knows
best.