I feel so sad for my high school classmate girl who doesn’t wear the hijab. I know that I am not allowed to look at a non muhram girl, so I advised her with text messages on whatsapp, but she still doesn’t wear the hijab. I also told her to just read the messages and not reply to them, and she agreed. I really love her and I want to see her on the right track. I honestly don’t care about how beautiful she is. I really love her character and I just wish that she becomes one of the muqarrabin to Allah. I never told her that I love her in these messages also. My question is: Am I sinful for loving her and advising her? Also, how can I get her to wear the hijab? I am always suppressing the tears in my eyes whenever I remember her. I am extremely sad for her. She is a hard working person, intelligent, and so polite in her treatment with all people. Please help. Jazakum Allah Khayran.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that none is worthy of worship except Allah and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and messenger.
With regard to advising her, you will be rewarded for it, Allah willing. As regards your love for her, then a man’s love for a woman, or vice versa, if this love did not develop as a result of his (or her) action, such as a man hearing about a woman, or seeing her by a sudden unintended look, and as a result of this, his heart becomes attached to her, then there is no sin on the person in this. However, he should fear Allah and not allow this emotional attachment to prompt him to pursue something forbidden, like forbidden looking, or dating and so on.
As for a love that a person has intentionally sought and gained by his own act and choice, such as the case of someone who is lenient in looking at women, talking to them, and sending them messages, and other reasons of Fitnah (temptation), then he is sinful by doing this and he has to repent to Allah.
In any case, the one who falls in love with a woman is advised to propose to her for marriage and to marry her. Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The best solution for those who love each other is to marry.” [Ibn Maajah]
As regards your sadness about that girl not wearing the Hijaab, then this is something you are thanked about, and for which you will also be rewarded if what urged you for this is your love that people obey their Lord and your hatred that they would disobey Him.
Our advice to you to do, first of all, is to fear Allah, then if you are able to marry, then perform the Istikhaarah prayer, and propose to her family to marry her as you should follow the proper and sound course of action in proposing and marrying her. However, if you are not able to marry, then turn your heart away from her [i.e. do not be attached to her], and do not open a door for the devil and temptation.
You should always remember the verse in which Allah Says (what means): {O you who have believed, do not follow the footsteps of Satan. And whoever follows the footsteps of Satan – indeed, he enjoins immorality and wrongdoing.} [Quran 24:21]
Allah Knows best.