Asalamualaikum , I’m married and i have 3 kids have been away for almost 3 years and i use to visit my country every 6 months however my wife told that she cannot wait for more than 4 months for her intimacy as per sharia in this period she had made relation with my brother and i feel so devastated right now that i dont know what to do please guide me should i forgive her as i have mixed feelings right now.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
If your wife had had an illegitimate relationship with your brother, this is a grave evil deed. It is obligatory on her to repent of it sincerely and never commit it again. If she repents and adheres to decency and righteousness, then you should retain the marriage bond, live with her in kindness, and strive to forget the past.
It is better to bring her over to the country where you work or settle down with her in your country if you are able to do so. If you cannot do that, then it is obligatory on her to fear Allah, be patient, and do whatever helps her adhere to chastity. She should adhere to Hijaab and modesty, avoid forbidden intermixing with non-Mahram (marriageable) men and staying in seclusion with them, and deny any of them access to her in your absence, even if it was your own brother. In fact, the obligation to be cautious of your male relatives, including your brothers, is more emphasized because of the authentic Hadeeth narrated on the authority of ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir, may Allaah be pleased with him, who related that the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from the Ansaar said: “O Messenger of Allah, what do you say about an in-law?” He replied: “The in-law is (as fatal as) death.” [Muslim] The reference to the in-law here means the brother-in-law and similar male relatives of the husband.
So, you should retain the marriage bond with her if she repents, but if she persists in what she is doing, it is better to divorce such a wife. Ibn Qudaamah, may Allaah have mercy upon him, in the course of explaining the rulings on divorce, said in Al-Mughni, “The fourth case: divorce is recommended; this is when the wife is neglectful of the obligatory rights of Allah on her, such as the prayer and the like, and he (her husband) cannot force her to fulfill them, or when his wife is not a chaste woman…” [End of quote]
We would like to point out two matters:
First: what is forbidden for a husband is to be away from his wife for more than six months, as ruled by ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattaab, may Allaah be pleased with him.
Second: if it is proven that your brother had committed this heinous act, it is obligatory to prevent him from interacting with your wife at all. He should be given advice and edified on the gravity of his sin, as it is his duty to protect his brother’s honor rather than transgress against it. If he is not deterred, threaten him that you would refer his case to someone who could (forcefully) deter him.
Allah Knows best.