Assalamuailaikum. I am a married girl n mother of 2 daughters.In marriage my parents did not gifted much to me or my husband and we dint expected but my father deceived me by taking all my gold during my delivery period n mortaging it without my permission and knowledge. And today my husband and I have some issues , when we ask him about it he never tells anything n speaks lie. M fed up of this behaviour n in anger i told him that i dont want a father like u who deceived his daughter and left her with nothing in her difficult times.. My query is my heart is not allowing me yo forgive my father because he deceived me n told lies for a year..what is a hadith behind deceiving n m I doing right because it was the only source of help for me n my husband.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
First of all, you should know that the parents are not obliged to offer gifts to their children when they get married. If they do, then it is commendable of them, especially if it is customary to do so. This is because such an act would please the children and bring happiness to their hearts.
If your father took this jewelry from you without your consent, then this is a prohibited action as per the Sharee‘ah. It is impermissible for a father to take something from his child’s wealth except within narrow limits and provided that certain guidelines are observed. These guidelines were clarified by scholars when explaining the Hadeeth: “You and your property belong to your father.” [Ibn Maajah]
If he deceived you to take this jewelry from you, then deception is forbidden, and it is a kind of cheating. It was authentically narrated on the authority of Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “He who cheats us is not one of us.” [Muslim]
You have the right to demand your property from him, provided that you adhere to the Sharee‘ah etiquettes (in dealing with parents) and that you do not harm him in words or actions. An example of harm is what you mentioned, that you told him that you do not want a deceiving father like him. This falls into the category of undutifulness towards parents, and it is incumbent on you to repent of it.
Allah Knows best.