Question
I have a 20 year old friend who met a 19 year old boy. They both live in London. They dated for almost a year. Then they fell strongly in love with each other. Their relationship resulted in fornication.
Suddenly, the youngster disappeared following a magical operation mounted by his sister, a woman who works to destroy the relationships that unite people.
The youngster’s parents urged him to marry the girl, but he refused on the grounds that he is still an unemployed student. He has been home for some time. He still had contact with the girl.
We have learned two months ago that he intends to get married there forgetting that there is a girl waiting for him here, a girl to whom he did what he did.
Some say that the boy is undoubtedly bewitched; his behavior is weird. How does he turn away without any justification or warning to marry a woman he loved and who was returning it to him?
As for the girl, she sinks into disappointment and doesn’t know what to do. She hesitates between two things: forgetting her friend and opening a new page in her life or waiting for him to come back and marry her. What do you think ?
What should she do? Do you advise him to perform a consultative prayer or leave the matter in the hands of Allah and wait for what the unfolding of the days will reveal to us? Should she maintain contact with the boy’s family or end it? We look forward to receiving your assistance. May Allah reward you with good.
Response text
Praise be to Allah.
Praise be to Allah
First, the relationship established between a young girl and a young boy begins with an admiring gaze and often ends up resulting in illicit and sinful intercourse which only results in evil, perversion and temptation. Allah the Mighty and Majestic said: And do not approach fornication. In truth, it is turpitude and what a bad road! (Quran, 17:32).
Shaykh Saadi (May Allah have mercy on him) says: Forbidding one to approach is more eloquent than the simple prohibition to do so because the former applies to his preparations and incentives. Indeed, anyone who walks near a reserve risks entering it. This is all the more true since it is about something (sexuality) to which souls are strongly inclined. Extract from Tafsir as-Saadi, p. 457.
The fact that a young boy gets to know a foreign girl, the establishment of a loving relationship between them and what that actually involves dating, conversations, overflowing feelings, all that and all that. like him constitute wide doors which give access to perversion and temptation. Anyone who listens and sees acquires a certain knowledge of it.
This case is not about some magical operation put on by the younger man’s sister or anything else. Quite the contrary, it is a false relationship from the start. The starting point of recovery, the most important duty for both people involved, is to repent of having entered into this deviated relationship. Then let them open a new page with Allah.
The repentance to be carried out by a sinner rests on the condition of regretting what one has done, of ceasing it and of resolving not to repeat it again. Each of these phases requires on the part of each of the persons concerned the breaking of his relations with the other because they are false relations because they are absolutely prohibited.
Second, the prayer of consultancy has no place in this matter because it is foreseen in lawful things between which one hesitates since one does not know how to make the right choice. As for the obligations and recommendations, they cannot be the subject of a consultancy because they are ordered. It is the same with what is prohibited or condemned. They are not concerned by the consultancy because religious law prohibits them. See the answer to question no. 11981 .
Once it is clear that consultancy has no place here and that both parties involved must sincerely repent before Allah and end the bad relationship, any reasonable man knows that attachment to distant illusions and the will to rely on an absent is a mental debility and involves a loss of religious and secular interests. This is why we say: whoever sends you back to someone absent does not do you justice.
The youth in question turned away from the girl while they still lived in the same town, how then does she expect him to come back to her after he abandons her and is gone very far ?!
If each of them repents and ends their relationship, and if the boy wishes to marry the girl thereafter, there is nothing wrong with him doing so, provided that she does not. not wait for it. Instead, erase the black page in your life. Start a new page. Perhaps Allah will accept your repentance and forgive your misstep, cover you with His beautiful blanket and replace it with a better one.