Praise
be to Allah.
The father has rights over his son, even if he behaves
badly, does wrong or persists in sin, because his right to kind treatment
and obedience in that which is right and proper is guaranteed according to
the Islamic texts. If Allah, may He be exalted, has affirmed the rights of
a mushrik father – and even one who calls his children to ascribe partners
to their Lord, may He be glorified and exalted – to respect and kind
treatment, then a father whose wrongdoing is less serious than that is
even more entitled to that respect and kind treatment. Allah, may He be
exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “But
if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others
that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with
them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in
repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall
tell you what you used to do”
[Luqmaan 31:15].
Hence it is known that no matter how kindly your mother’s husband treated
you and how many favours he did for you, your father’s rights over you are
greater. If you fell short in upholding your father’s rights when he was
still alive, then you must ask Allah for forgiveness for that, and offer a
great deal of supplication for him for mercy and forgiveness, and give
charity on his behalf, according to your means, for these are ways of
honouring him after his death. The scholars of the Standing Committee for
Issuing Fatwas said: The Sunnah indicates that it is prescribed to honour
parents after they die, by offering supplication for them, carrying out
their last wishes, upholding ties of kinship that you would not have except
through them, and honouring their friends.
End quote from Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah (25/182
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Part of honouring one’s
parents is giving charity on their behalf, offering supplication for them,
and doing Hajj and ‘umrah on their behalf.
End quote from Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz (8/344)
With regard to calling your mother’s husband “father”, there is nothing
wrong with that if it is by way of honouring and showing respect, not by way
of attributing yourself to him. We have discussed this with evidence and in
detail in fatwa no. 100329
With regard to giving charity on behalf of your mother’s husband – after his
death – and doing Hajj on his behalf, this is permissible and indeed is
recommended, because it comes under the heading of returning favours and
acknowledging kindness. The scholars stated that the deceased may benefit
from charity given on his behalf. It says in Tuhfat al-Muhtaaj
(7/72): The deceased may benefit from charity given on his behalf, which
includes donating a Mushaf and the like as a waqf, digging a well, or
planting a tree during his lifetime or after his death. End quote.
The scholars also stated that the deceased may benefit from Hajj done on his
behalf. Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Hajj on behalf
of the deceased, or ‘umrah on behalf of the deceased, is one of the best
acts of worship. The Muslim deceased may benefit a great deal from it. The
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was asked about that many
times, and he said to the questioners, both male and female: “Do Hajj on
behalf of your father” and “Do Hajj on behalf of your mother.” Someone else
said to him: I have entered ihram on behalf of Shubrumah. He said: “Who is
Shubrumah?” He said: A brother of mine – or a relative of mine. He said: “Do
Hajj on your own behalf (first), then do Hajj on behalf of Shubrumah.”
People fall into different categories. Some of them did the obligatory Hajj
and the obligatory ‘umrah (when they were alive); in this case if Hajj is
done on such a person’s behalf, then it is naafil (supererogatory), and if
‘umrah is done on his behalf, it is naafil. If his brother or father or
relative or one of his brothers in Islam does Hajj on his behalf, all of
that is good, and the same applies to ‘umrah. If he had not done Hajj or
‘Umrah, then the one who does Hajj on his behalf has done the obligatory
Hajj on his behalf, and likewise the one who does ‘umrah on his behalf has
done the obligatory ‘umrah. In all cases, he will be rewarded and the
deceased will be rewarded; both of them will be rewarded – the one who does
it will be rewarded for his good deed and kindness towards his brother, and
the deceased will also be rewarded for that. The same applies to giving
charity, and to offering supplication. If he gives charity on his brother’s
behalf, both he and the deceased will be rewarded, and if he prays for his
deceased brother, he will be rewarded and the deceased will benefit from the
supplication.
End quote from the shaykh’s website on the following link:
http://www.binbaz.org.za/mat/14148
It should be noted that if a person wants to do Hajj on behalf of someone
else, he must first have done Hajj on his own behalf, as we have explained
in fatwa no. 1463
Finally, we should point out that your honouring your father and your
parents in general, whether that is during their lifetime or after their
death, by offering supplication for them, giving charity on their behalf,
and so on, brings greater reward than your kindness to your mother’s husband
or anyone else..
And Allah knows best.