Educational Whispers (13)
Education through obedience… when worship becomes a way of life
Education through obedience is a must, as well as diversifying interactions and methods of raising children.
Do not use one method, but change your method to obtain new and different results, especially with regard to aspects of worship and obedience and instilling them in the souls of children from a young age.
Education in obedience is very important.
The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, was keen to teach children to pray when they are seven, so he said: “Teach them.” These are practical lessons.
In this whisper, we learn how to raise our children to love obedience, not to perform it through fear and coercion.
First: Why education through obedience?
Obedience is not just religious duties, but rather:
•Discipline training (praying on time).
•Teaching patience (fasting).
•Education on generosity (zakat and charity).
•Strengthening the will (giving up sins).
•Purification of the soul (remembrance and supplication).
When we raise our children to be obedient from a young age, it becomes part of their personality, not a burden on them.
Second: The guidance of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, in teaching obedience
The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, was the greatest teacher of obedience. He did not only command his friends and family to do obedience, but he taught them how to love it and trained them gradually in it.
His saying, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him: “Teach your children to pray at seven, beat them for it at ten, and separate them in their beds”; (Sahih hadith).
What do we learn from this hadith?
1. Gradient:Teaching begins with saying (for seven), then reaches gentle discipline after three years (for ten).
2. Determine age:Every worship has an appropriate age to teach it; Such as: prayer, fasting, and so on, until he is educated in them and adheres to them.
3. Paying attention to prayer:Because it is the pillar of religion, and the first thing the servant is held accountable for.
Third: Practical lessons from the guidance of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace
Lesson One: Teaching the Doctrine to Ibn Abbas
He, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said to Ibn Abbas (who was young): “O boy, I am teaching you the words: Protect God and He will protect you. Protect God and you will find Him with you. If you ask, then ask God, and if you seek help, then seek help from God.”
This is not just preaching, this is a practical teaching of the doctrine:
•“God save”; That is, adhere to His commands and avoid His prohibitions.
•“He preserves you”; That is: He takes care of you and protects you.
•If you ask, ask God; That is: Do not ask anyone but God.
Lesson Two: Teaching eating etiquette
The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, taught children eating etiquette in practice:
•He says God’s name before eating.
•He eats with his right hand.
•He eats what follows.
•Nothing wrong with the food.
•He thanks God after eating.
It is narrated that Omar bin Abi Salamah (who was a child) said: I was a boy in the lap of the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, and my hand was wandering around the bowl (i.e. moving around the bowl).
Then the Messenger of God, may God bless him and grant him peace, said to me: “O boy, name God, and eat with your right hand, and eat from what follows you.”
This is how he taught them: with kind words and practical guidance, not with shouting and violence.
Lesson Three: Teaching love of the mosque
The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, used to take Al-Hassan and Al-Hussein to the mosque when they were young.
They ride on his back while he prays, and he prostrates for them for a long time.
This teaches children that the mosque is a loved place, not a scary place.
Prayer is a beautiful thing, not a burdensome thing.
Fourth: Teach her to give to the poor and needy
Zakat and charity are among the greatest acts of obedience that we neglect to teach our children.
How do we teach children to give and give?
1. By example
Give in front of them. Give charity in front of them. Put money in the hands of the needy, and they will see.
2. By involving them
Give them money to give to themselves. Take them to the orphanage or mosque to pay alms.
3. With the charitable fund
Place a “charity box” at home. Everyone puts into it what he can. At the end of the month, they go out together to give alms.
4. By telling stories of generous people
Stories of the generosity of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, and stories of the generosity of companions such as Othman bin Affan and Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq.
Teach her to give to the poor and needy so that she can learn to give and be generous.
Benefits of teaching giving:
•It kills greed and stinginess in the soul.
•Teaches the child the value of money (that it is a means, not an end).
•He connects him with the poor and needy.
•Increases blessing in his money and livelihood.
Fifth: Get them used to fasting
Fasting is a great school of education.
When do we start teaching fasting?
•From 7-10 years: Fasting on separate days (such as: the first day of Ramadan, the day of Ashura, and the days of eggs).
•From 10 years and above: Fasting more days, with endurance training.
How do we teach them to fast?
•We do not force them at first, but rather we encourage and motivate them.
•We share suhoor and iftar with them so they can feel happy.
•We reward them for the days they fasted.
•We fast with them (the role model).
•We explain to them the benefits of fasting (spiritual and health).
The fruits of fasting in education:
•Purify their souls (staying away from desires).
•They feel others hungry (developing empathy).
•They learn patience and endurance.
•They practice self-control.
Accustom them to fasting to clear their souls and make others feel hungry.
Sixth: Teach them other acts of worship and obedience
1. Dhikr and supplication
•Teach them the morning and evening remembrances.
•Teach them to pray for every occasion (entering the toilet, leaving the house, riding in the car, sleeping, waking up).
•Make dhikr a daily habit at home.
2. Reading the Qur’an
•Give them a daily response from the Qur’an (even if it is a verse).
•Listen to the Qur’an at home with a beautiful voice.
•Encourage them to memorize the Qur’an with prizes.
3. Congregational prayer
•Take them to the mosque from a young age (after the age of seven).
•Make congregational prayer at home like standing and praying Witr (pray all together).
4. Honoring parents
•Teach them that obedience to parents is one of the greatest acts of obedience.
•Set an example for them in showing kindness to your parents.
5. Family ties
•Take them to visit relatives.
•Teach them that maintaining family ties prolongs life and increases livelihood.
Seventh: Notice the change in their behavior
When you start teaching your children obedience, notice the change in their behavior:
Positive signs:
•Their disposition improves (less nervous, calmer).
•They take care of their cleanliness (ablution, bathing).
•They become more disciplined (adherence to prayer times).
•They empathize with others (charity, helping those in need).
•They lie and deceive less (fear God).
Negative signs that require intervention:
•Aversion to obedience (because you forced them harshly).
•Performing obedience without a soul (like a parrot).
•Just pretend to be obedient in front of you.
•Relapse after a while (because he was not raised with love, but with fear).
If you notice negative behavior, review your approach.
You may be too harsh, too lenient, or ask them for more than they can handle.
Eighth: Let us ensure that our children are raised appropriately
At the table of the Qur’an, the Sunnah, and the sublime and wonderful Islamic values.
Quran table:
•Recitation, memorization, interpretation, contemplation.
•Stories of the prophets in the Qur’an.
•The provisions of the Qur’an in a simplified manner.
Sunnah table:
•Biography of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace.
•His hadiths on morals and worship.
•A gift in all aspects of life.
Islamic values:
•Honesty, honesty, justice, mercy, generosity, courage, modesty, humility.
Ninth: Let us be with them step by step
Do not leave children alone on the journey of obedience. Be with them.
How to be with them?
1. Pray with them
Do not say, “Go and pray,” but rather, “Come and pray together.”
2. Fast with them
Don’t send them to fast alone.
3. Give alms with them
Go together to distribute alms.
4. Read the Qur’an with them
Sit with them and read a rose daily.
5. Remember God with them
Make the house a collective flower of remembrance.
Being with them cultivates love, and love is the fuel of obedience.
Tenth: We bear responsibility
Raising children to be obedient is a great responsibility. Do not throw it at the school or mosque alone.
Manifestations of responsibility:
1. You are primarily responsible
Do not say: “The teacher is negligent,” or “The mosque has no activities.” Start with yourself.
2. Don’t wait for quick results
Education through obedience requires patience and years.
3. Be flexible
Every child has his own way of learning and accepting.
4. Don’t despair
The child may go through a stage of aversion, so be patient and continue.
Eleventh: Applied models for education through obedience
The first model: prayer
Incorrect handling:
You shout at your son: “Get up and pray! How many times will I tell you?!”
Correct handling:
Sets the call to prayer for prayer time with a beautiful voice.
“Come, let us pray together, then we will eat dessert together,” she says.
You pray quietly, and he prays with you.
The second model: charity
Incorrect handling:
She gives him money and says, “Go, give it in charity.”
Correct handling:
You take him to the orphanage, or to the neighborhood mosque, and give him the money yourself so he can give it to them.
She thanks him and hugs him afterwards.
The third form: fasting
Incorrect handling:
She forces him to fast completely at the age of eight, and he becomes thirsty, hungry, and cries.
Correct treatment: says:
“Let us fast today only until noon.” Then the next week until afternoon, then a full day at the end of the month with a reward and hospitality.
Fourth model: reading the Qur’an
Incorrect handling:
She orders him: “Save today’s page, otherwise don’t go out.”
Correct handling:
She reads the verse with him, explains its meaning, tells him a story about it, and then says: “Let’s memorize it together. Whoever memorizes it first, I will buy him a gift.”
Twelfth: Common mistakes in upbringing through obedience
Error | And the correct alternative | ||
Error | Forcing the child to obey with violence | The correct one | Encouragement and enticement |
Error | Presenting obedience as a heavy duty | The correct one | Presenting it as joy and closeness to God |
Error | Neglecting to teach obedience until adulthood | The correct one | Training from childhood (up to seven) |
Error | A bad role model is to say one thing and do the opposite | The correct one | Consistency between words and actions |
Error | Focus on just one obedience | The correct one | Diversification between prayer, fasting, charity, and remembrance |
Error | Expect perfection immediately | The correct one | Graduation and patience |
Thirteenth: The conclusion of the whisper
Education through obedience must diversify interaction, as well as the methods of raising children.
•Don’t use one method.
•Change your approach to get new and different results.
•Education in obedience is very important.
•The Messenger, may God bless him and grant him peace, was keen to teach children to pray when they are seven, so he said: “Teach them.”
•These are practical lessons: They taught and Ibn Abbas taught: “Save, may God protect you.”
•He taught him lessons in faith, as well as lessons in eating etiquette.
•Teaching obedience and preserving it from everyone is a wonderful educational method that reaps its rich fruits.
•Teach her to give to the poor and needy so that she can learn to give and be generous.
•Accustom them to fasting to purify their souls and make others feel hungry.
•Teach them about acts of worship and obedience, and notice their behavior changing.
•Let us ensure that our children are raised properly based on the Qur’an, the Sunnah, and the sublime and wonderful Islamic values.
•Let us be with them step by step, and bear responsibility.
Last will and testament:
Do not make obedience a punishment. Make it a joy. Do not say, “Get up and pray,” but rather, “Come and pray.”
Do not say, “Believe,” but rather, “Come, let so-and-so be happy with a gift.”
When a child loves obedience, he will maintain it throughout his life. And when he hates her, he will leave her as soon as he can.