Seconds of rage… and years of regret
A man came to the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, asking for a comprehensive commandment to adhere to, and he said:“Recommend me”.
The will was only two words:“Don’t get angry”.
Then the man repeated his question, hoping for more, but the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, did not add anything to his saying:“Don’t get angry”; Narrated by Al-Bukhari.
Two words…but they hold the key to psychological stability, protecting homes, and protecting decisions from mistakes.
What does it mean?“Don’t get angry”?
It is not an impossible call to “never feel angry”; Anger is a human nature that God installed in us.
Rather, it has two complementary meanings:
The first:Stay away from the reasons that provoke you and ignite your anger before it occurs.
Second:If anger occurs – and this is normal – do not implement what he tells you to say or decide.
The commandment is not to prevent feeling, but rather to prevent submitting to it.
Why did the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, repeat it?
Because anger is a door through which all evil enters.
Scientists said in the past:“Anger is a monster of the mind. Its beginning is madness and its end is regret.”.
The Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, did not repeat it in vain, but because he knew that if it was controlled, much behavior would be disciplined and many relationships would be safe.
Nice secret: Why does Islam care about reason?
Consider a strange thing: Islam has made reason the basis of all duties.
If the mind is absent – due to insanity, sleep, or young age – all duties and accountability fall from the person. This is why scholars made preserving the mind one of the five great necessities that Sharia came to protect: religion, the soul, the mind, progeny, and money.
Islam is keen to protect the mind with two fences:
Visible fence:By prohibiting alcohol, drugs, and everything that clouds the mind with matter.
And hidden fence:By forbidding intense anger and following blind desires; Because this clouds the mind with emotion.
Intense anger is moral intoxication. It takes away the soundness of the mind like wine, even if you do not drink a single drop.
Moment of anger:Mind disruption
Consider what happens to you when you get angry:
The moment you are provoked, the mind is distracted from calm thinking, so it does not calculate the consequences, and does not see the whole picture.
Impulsive decisions appear to you as courage and decisiveness, and you are in fact at your worst to make any decision.
Therefore, a word spoken in anger, and a decision made in seconds, may take years to correct.
Great wisdom:Sharia law disables angry decision-making
Because Sharia law realizes the seriousness of a decision taken while the mind is absent, it suspended its implementation in a moment of anger.Look at these two examples:
In judiciary: The Prophet, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, forbade a judge from ruling between two people while he is angry. He, may God’s prayers and peace be upon him, said:“No arbitrator shall render judgment between two people while they are angry.”; Because his mind is distorted, his judgment will not be just.
Regarding the home: Many jurists – such as Sheikh Al-Islam Ibn Taymiyyah – held that the divorce of a person who is closed (i.e. someone who is extremely angry and has lost control of his mind and will) does not take place. Because Sharia law does not take into account a decision taken by a person whose mind is absent and whose emotions are present.
Look at how Sharia law increased the impact of the decision that was born out of anger.
Anger destroys what cannot be bought:
The most precious thing you have in your life is not your money, but rather: people’s trust in you, their love for you, and their respect for you.
All of these things are destroyed by anger in an instant.
The hurtful word you say to your wife, child, or partner is not easily forgotten, even if you apologize afterward.
And the trust that you have built over the years, one bout of anger is enough to cause a rift in it that cannot be mended.
When you forget why you started:
One of the most dangerous things that anger does is that it makes you forget your original goal.
You entered the discussion to fix something, but anger turns your goal into hurting the other party and proving that you are right.
You win the small battle, but you lose the whole house. You win the round, you lose the relationship.
Anger eats your health:
Your body was not created to live in a state“Emergency”Permanent. Repeated anger exhausts the heart, raises pressure, weakens immunity, and causes exhaustion and internal burnout.
Whoever does not have mercy on his heart from anger will tire his body before it tires others out.
How do we practice dreaming?
First:Postpone your decision. Don’t send a message, make a decision, or end a relationship when you’re angry. Wait until your heart cools down.
Second:Engineer your life to reduce friction. Much of the anger in homes is caused by ambiguity of roles and overlapping responsibilities. Clarity of agreements eliminates half the causes of disagreement.
Third:Train yourself to ignore. Close relationships are full of small mistakes, so whoever wants to be held accountable for every little thing destroys the bridges he built over the years.
In conclusion:
Islam does not fight your emotions, but rather it refines them and puts them in their place to be fuel for compassion and work, but it refuses to let emotion sit in the driving seat. Leadership must remain in the hands of the present, conscious mind.
This is the secret of the two words: “Don’t be angry”Hard daily training to be your own master, not a prisoner of your reactions.
And the day you take control of your anger, you will preserve your religion, your mind, your home, your decision, and your health… in two words.
So make it your will, as it was the will of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace, to that man, and your life will be delivered to you.