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Don’t forget to motivate your children and encourage them towards success. Motivation is important for children, and it is necessary for their psychological and mental development, but the correct encouragement without exaggeration is the one whose results appear quickly, while the wrong encouragement may produce adverse results.<\/p>\n
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In this whisper, we learn how to encourage our children in a balanced and effective manner.<\/span><\/p>\n First: Why do children need encouragement and motivation?<\/span><\/p>\n Encouragement is not a luxury, but a basic psychological need. The child needs someone who believes in him, someone who sees his abilities, and someone who pushes him forward.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Effects of encouragement on children:<\/span><\/p>\n 1. Building self-confidence<\/span><\/p>\n The encouraged child feels that he is able to succeed, so he tries and tries and is not afraid of failure.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 2. Increase motivation to learn<\/span><\/p>\n When a child feels that his effort is noticed and appreciated, he works harder.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 3. Improving the relationship with parents<\/span><\/p>\n Encouragement cultivates love and respect, while constant criticism cultivates hatred.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 4. Preventing depression and anxiety<\/span><\/p>\n A child who feels “good enough” is less likely to have psychological problems.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 5. Promoting positive behavior<\/span><\/p>\n When you reward good behavior with encouragement, the behavior is repeated.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Second: Correct encouragement versus wrong encouragement<\/span><\/p>\n The right encouragement<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>\n False encouragement<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n Praises effort and process (“I see you studied hard”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Praises innate intelligence (“You’re a genius”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n Specific and clear (“I like the way you arrange your room”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n General and vague (“excellent”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n Realistic and logical (“I got better at math this week”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Exaggerated (“You’re the smartest in the world”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n Encourages comparison with self (“better than last week”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Encourages comparison with others (“You’re better than your brother”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n He acknowledges the difficulty (“I know this was hard, but you persisted”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Ignores the difficulty (“This is easy, anyone can do it”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n <\/p>\n Proper encouragement without exaggeration, this results quickly.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Third: How do you encourage your children effectively?<\/span><\/p>\n 1. Encourage them verbally<\/span><\/p>\n Your words have tremendous power. Choose your words carefully.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Examples of encouraging words:<\/span><\/p>\n •<\/span>“I’m proud of you”.<\/p>\n •<\/span>“I see you’re making a great effort.”<\/p>\n •<\/span>“I trust you to solve this problem.”<\/p>\n •<\/span>“It’s wrong, but you’ll learn from it and get better.”<\/p>\n •<\/span>“thank you for your help”.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 2. Really encourage them<\/span><\/p>\n Encouragement is not just words. Your actions translate your words.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Examples of practical encouragement:<\/span><\/p>\n •<\/span>Embrace him when he succeeds.<\/p>\n •<\/span>He shook his hand warmly.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Write him an encouraging letter.<\/p>\n •<\/span>He hung his drawings on the refrigerator.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Attend the school party to cheer him up.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 3. Encourage them by making time.<\/span><\/p>\n The greatest encouragement you can give your child is your time.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Sit with him while he studies.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Listen when he explains something you know.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Go on a walk with him as a reward for his accomplishment.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 4. Encourage them with symbolic rewards<\/span><\/p>\n Rewards are not a bribe if used correctly.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Encouragement posters.<\/p>\n •<\/span>A star on the home honor roll.<\/p>\n •<\/span>A simple gift.<\/p>\n •<\/span>A fun activity chosen by the child.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Fourth: Revive in them the competition towards excellence and creativity<\/span><\/p>\n Competition is a powerful motivator, but it is also destructive if abused.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Healthy competition:<\/span><\/p>\n •<\/span>Competing with oneself: “Are you better than you were last week?”<\/p>\n •<\/span>Competition in goodness: “Who has memorized the most verses of the Qur’an this week?”<\/p>\n •<\/span>Team competition: team against team, learning cooperation.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Unhealthy competition:<\/span><\/p>\n •<\/span>“You are better than your brother” (sows hatred).<\/p>\n •<\/span>“So-and-so is smarter than you” (breaks trust).<\/p>\n •<\/span>Competition for love (destroys relationships).<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Revive in them the competition towards excellence and creativity, and prepare them for themselves.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Fifth: We must not forget to put our efforts into raising our sons and daughters<\/span><\/p>\n Encouragement alone is not enough. Real effort must be made.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n What do we raise them on?<\/span><\/p>\n At the table of the Qur’an and Sunnah.<\/p>\n This is the source that guarantees correct upbringing.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Quran table:<\/span><\/p>\n •<\/span>Teaching them recitation and intonation.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Their memorization of the Qur’an.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Interpretation of verses in a manner appropriate to their ages.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Connecting the Qur’an to their daily lives.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sunnah table:<\/span><\/p>\n •<\/span>Stories of the Prophet, may God bless him and grant him peace.<\/p>\n •<\/span>His hadiths on morals and worship.<\/p>\n •<\/span>His career in dealing with children and adults.<\/p>\n •<\/span>A gift in the family.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sixth: An expressive story… The man who stayed up all night<\/span><\/p>\n It is said that a man came to Abdullah bin Amr bin Al-Aas, may God be pleased with them both, and he was known for his worship and diligence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Abdullah bin Amr said to him:<\/p>\n “Your husband has a right over you, your body has a right over you, and your guest has a right over you.”<\/p>\n Then he said to him: “What a good man you are, if you do not stay up all night and fast all day.”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The moral of the story:<\/span><\/p>\n This man was extreme in worship: he would stay up all night and fast all day.<\/p>\n But Ibn Amr advised him: Mediation is required, and moderation is the way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n What does this story have to do with education?<\/span><\/p>\n Many parents go to extremes in education:<\/p>\n •<\/span>Either excessive cruelty (they prevent, hit, scream).<\/p>\n •<\/span>Or excessive leniency (they leave, do not direct, do not hold accountable).<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Mediation is required, and moderation in raising children is yes and yes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Seventh: Signs that you are encouraging your son correctly<\/span><\/p>\n •<\/span>Your son tells you about his accomplishments without fear of ridicule.<\/p>\n •<\/span>He asks for your help when he is having difficulty.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Try new things without excessive fear of failure.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Not afraid to admit a mistake.<\/p>\n •<\/span>He has a drive to learn and improve.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Signs that your encouragement is incorrect (or incomplete):<\/span><\/p>\n •<\/span>Your son doesn’t tell you anything about his day.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Afraid to experiment for fear of failure.<\/p>\n •<\/span>He avoids talking in front of you.<\/p>\n •<\/span>He seems uninterested in anything.<\/p>\n •<\/span>He constantly compares himself to others negatively.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Eighth: Common mistakes in encouragement and motivation<\/span><\/p>\n Error<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>\n The correct alternative<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n Praise the child for his innate intelligence (“You’re a genius”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Praise him for his effort (“I love your hard work”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n Comparing him to others (“Look at so-and-so, how he studies”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Comparing himself (“You’re better than last week”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n False encouragement (“You’re the best even though you’re not”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Sincere encouragement (“This is good, it could be better”)<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n Criticizing the child in front of others<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Praise him in front of others, and criticize him in private<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n Ignore small accomplishments<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Celebrate every progress, even if it is small<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n Exaggeration of material rewards<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Symbolic and moral rewards are more influential<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n <\/p>\n Ninth: Practical models for daily encouragement<\/span><\/p>\n The first form: after the exam<\/span><\/p>\n Wrong response:<\/span><\/p>\n “Only 90? Where are the other 10?” (Ignore achievement, focus on deficiency)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Correct response:<\/span><\/p>\n “90! That’s great! I’m proud of you. What’s the secret? I see you studied hard this week. Let’s celebrate. Next time, we can work on the remaining 10 together.”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The second form: when he draws a drawing<\/span><\/p>\n Wrong response:<\/span><\/p>\n “This isn’t pretty. Draw better than this.”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Correct response:<\/span><\/p>\n “Wow! I loved the colors you chose. Tell me about this drawing. (listens). Can we hang it on the refrigerator?”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n The third model: When he tries something difficult and fails<\/span><\/p>\n Wrong response:<\/span><\/p>\n “I told you: it’s difficult, there’s no need to try again.”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Correct response:<\/span><\/p>\n “I see that you tried hard, and that is more important than the result. What did you learn from this attempt? Do you want to try again tomorrow? I am with you.”<\/p>\n The fourth model: When he studies without being asked<\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Wrong response:<\/span><\/p>\n (Ignores) Or “I was supposed to have tickets from early.”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Correct response:<\/span><\/p>\n “I noticed that you studied today without me asking you. This indicates your maturity and responsibility. I am very happy for you.”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Tenth: How do you motivate your lazy son?<\/span><\/p>\n If your son is lazy, does not study, does not participate, or does not make an effort:<\/p>\n 1. Find the reason<\/span><\/p>\n It may be: learning difficulties, psychological problem, bullying at school, inappropriate teaching method.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 2. Start small<\/span><\/p>\n Don’t ask him to be perfect all of a sudden. Start with small, easy tasks, then gradually increase.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 3. Reward all progress<\/span><\/p>\n Even if it’s small. Study 10 minutes? Excellent, tomorrow the 15th.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 4. Change the environment<\/span><\/p>\n Maybe the place is not right, or the time is not right.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 5. Use his interests<\/span><\/p>\n If he loves cars, teach him math through cars. If he loves stories, teach him to read through his favorite stories.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 6. Do not compare him to others<\/span><\/p>\n This makes him more lazy and destroys his confidence.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 7. Consult a professional<\/span><\/p>\n If laziness persists despite your attempts, there may be a problem that needs intervention.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Eleventh: The difference between internal motivation and external motivation<\/span><\/p>\n External stimulation<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Internal motivation<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n Gift, money, reward<\/p>\n<\/td>\n Love of learning, curiosity, desire for achievement<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n It affects for a short time<\/p>\n<\/td>\n It lasts a lifetime<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n It weakens over time<\/p>\n<\/td>\n It strengthens over time<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n The child works to get the reward<\/p>\n<\/td>\n The child works because he enjoys or wants to improve<\/p>\n<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n<\/div>\n <\/p>\n How to build internal motivation?<\/p>\n 1. Show your enthusiasm for learning<\/span><\/p>\n If your son sees that you are learning, reading and discovering, he will imitate you.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 2. Make learning fun<\/span><\/p>\n Educational games, science experiments, stories, trips.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 3. Linking learning to the child’s life<\/span><\/p>\n Why do we learn mathematics? Let’s calculate the expense. Why do we learn science? To understand nature.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 4. Let him choose<\/span><\/p>\n Which story is he reading? Which scientific project is being implemented? Choice increases motivation.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n 5. Praise the effort, not just the result<\/span><\/p>\n “I like your hard work” is better than “I like your good grades.”<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Twelfth: The conclusion of the hamsa<\/span><\/p>\n Don’t forget to motivate your children and encourage them towards success.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Motivation is important for boys.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Correct encouragement without exaggeration is the most effective.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Encourage them with words, actions, time and symbolic rewards.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Revive in them honest competition towards excellence and creativity.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Bring them back to themselves, and make them rely on their abilities.<\/p>\n •<\/span>We must not forget to make every effort to raise our sons and daughters according to the Qur’an and Sunnah.<\/p>\n •<\/span>Mediation is required, and moderation is yes and yes.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Last will and testament:<\/span><\/p>\n Don’t be stingy with encouragement. A simple “I love you” or “I’m proud of you” can fuel your son for years. Do not be extravagant in exaggerated praise, as it will lose its value. Be balanced, honest, and present.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Let us contribute to building the future generation, the renaissance generation of this nation.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n
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