Several Types of ‘Uquq[1] (1/2)
1 – Causing grief and sadness to parents because of a statement or an action:
Abdullah bin Amr bin AI-‘Aa narrated that a man came to the Prophet (Peace be upon him) to give him his pledge of allegiance, saying, “I have come to give you my Bai’ah to perform Hijrah (migration to Al-Madinah), However, I left behind my parents while they were crying.”
The Prophet (Peace be upon him) said:
“Then go back and make them laugh as you made them cry.” (Reported by Ahmad)
Furthermore, Ibn Umar said:
“Bringing tears to parents is a part of ‘Uquq and a major sin.” (Reported by Al-Bukhari)
All praise is due to Allah! How can anyone bring tears to his parents when the Prophet (Peace be upon him) required the man who wanted to migrate to Al-Madinah and participate in Jihad, to go back to his parents and bring pleasure back into their hearts by his presence, as he made them cry by leaving them? These Ahadith indicate that Allah has given parents many rights and raised high the importance of these rights. Allah made acts of Birr with parents come before participating in Jihad, as a mercy and bounty from Him. In reality, acts of Birr are also a type of Jihad, for it incorporates using the body in the service of parents and spending money on them, and only those for whom Allah has written all that is good and delightful can really satisfy and fulfill this type of Jihad.
2 – Practicing evil in front of Parents:
It is not allowed to practice evil in front of parents. For instance, one cannot commit such evil as abandoning prayer, drinking, listening to musical instruments, watching indecent movies, looking at indecent magazines, and other types of immoral acts in front of parents.
These acts are a type of ‘Uquq, in that they make parents angry at their children, while Allah has disallowed even saying the word Uff to them. Also, if parents agree with these acts by their children, they will earn evil deeds. Parents might be agreeable with their children in allowing these immoral acts out of love for them, and this way, one will be committing evil and luring his parents to it, leading them all to destruction. Moreover, scholars of Tafsir said that the Ayah:
“And as for the boy, his parents were believers, and we feared lest he should oppress them by rebellion and disbelief.” (Surah Al-Kahf, 18:80)
Also means, We feared that their love for him would lure them to follow his religion and evil ways.[2]
3 – Disowning and Abandoning Parents
Anas Al-Juhani said that his father narrated that the Prophet said:
“Verily, on the Day of Resurrection, Allah has slaves to whom He will neither speak nor purify nor look at.”
He was asked, “Who are they, O Allah’s Messenger?” He said:
“He who disowns and abandons his parents, he who disowns his children and he who was granted a favor by a people, but he denied their favor and disowned them.” (Reported by Ahmad)
Also Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) said:
“Do not disown your parents, for he who does that becomes a Kafir (disbeliever).” (Reported by Al-Bukhdri and Muslim)
We should assert that ‘Uquq against parents includes throwing them out of the house and committing them to old people’s homes for the purpose of abandoning them and avoiding spending on them. This type forgets and denies all the favors and kindness that they received from their parents. However, let it be known that spending on parents and being dutiful to them, especially when they become old and weak, are Islamic obligations fulfilling which brings about Allah’s rewards, or otherwise punishment, in this life and in the Hereafter.
Shaikh AI-Islam Ibn Taimiyyah was asked about a man who was struck by poverty and did not have the means to spend on his wife and children, but had a wealthy son. Was it permissible for his wealthy son to spend on his father and young brothers and sisters? Ibn Taimiyyah answered:
“All the thanks and praises are due to Allah. In this case, the son is required to spend from his wealth on his father, step mother and young brothers and sisters. Rather, if he does not spend, he will be committing ‘Uquq against his father, cutting the relation of the womb and earning Allah’s punishment in this life and the Hereafter. Allah has the best knowledge.”[3]
The wealth that the offspring has, in fact belongs to his father, as this Hadith indicates:
A man said to the Messenger of Allah (Peace be upon him) that he had wealth and children, but his father wanted to use some of his wealth. The Messenger (Peace be upon him) replied:
“You and your wealth are your father’s.” (Reported by Ibn Majah)
Also, Zur’ah bin Ibrahim said that a man came to ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) and said to him:
“I have an old mother who is unable to go to answer the call of nature, so I carry her on my back. I also help her perform ablution while turning my face away from her (out of respect). Have I fulfilled my duty towards her?” ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said, “No.” The man said, “Even though I carry her on my back and exert myself in her service?” ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said; “She used to do the same for you (when you were young) while hoping that you will live, as for you, you await when she will go away (die).”[4]
(Continued)
[1] Qada’ud-Dain bi-Birril- Walidain
[2] Fath ul Qadir, vol. 3, p, 304.
[3] Majmu’ Al-Fatawa, vol. 34, p. 101
[4] Birr-ul-Walidain, by Ibn Al-Jauzi.