Praise be to Allah
Firstly:
What the person
who is faced with this problem must do is three things:
i.
He must repent
to Allah, may He be exalted, from these two grave major sins, namely the
shameful deed and deliberately breaking the fast during the day in Ramadan.
Whoever repents, Allah will turn to him in mercy and change his bad deeds
into good deeds, as He, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the
meaning):
“And
those who do not invoke with Allah another deity or kill the soul which
Allah has forbidden [to be killed], except by right, and do not commit
unlawful sexual intercourse. And whoever should do that will meet a penalty.
Multiplied
for him is the punishment on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide
therein humiliated –
Except for
those who repent, believe and do righteous work. For them Allah will replace
their evil deeds with good. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful”
[al-Furqaan
25:68-70].
ii.
He must make up
the day on which he broke the fast.
iii.
He must offer expiation, which is to
free a slave. If that is not possible, then he must fast for two consecutive
months. If he cannot do that, then he must feed sixty poor persons,
because of the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (1936) from Abu Hurayrah (may
Allah be pleased with him) who said:
Whilst we were sitting with the Prophet (peace and blessings
of Allah be upon him), a man came to him and said: O Messenger of Allah, I
am doomed! He said: “What is the matter with you?” He said: I had
intercourse with my wife whilst I was fasting. The Messenger of Allah (peace
and blessings of Allah be upon him) asked: “Can you afford to free a slave?”
He said: No. He said: “Are you able to fast for two consecutive months?” He
said: No. He said: “Can you afford to feed sixty poor persons?” he said: No.
The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) paused for a while,
and whilst we were like that, a large basket of dates was brought to the
Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). He said: “Where is the
one who was asking?” The man said: I am here. He said: “Take it and give it
in charity.” The man said: To someone poorer than me, O Messenger of Allah?
By Allah, there is no family between the two lava fields [i.e., in Madinah]
who is poorer than my family. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be
upon him) smiled so broadly that his eye-teeth became visible, then he said:
“Feed your family with it.”
End quote from
al-Mughni (3/60)
This expiation
is mentioned in order of preference, according to the majority of fuqaha’,
so it is not permissible to feed poor persons for one who is able to fast.
Secondly:
If you are able
to fast, then feeding poor persons will not be acceptable in your case, and
what you fear of people around you finding out is no excuse. You can vow to
offer this expiatory fast, and then tell anybody who asks you that you vowed
to fast for two consecutive months. In this manner you can avoid causing
yourself any embarrassment.
Thirdly:
The fact that
you were unaware at that age that this expiation is obligatory does not mean
you are excused. If someone knows of the prohibition, but is unaware of its
consequences, he is not excused.
And Allah knows
best.