As salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu. I’ve read a hadith of the Prophet (saws) where He says that a woman is married for four reasons: her property, her status, her beauty and her religion. Why did the Prophet (saws) not mention love? Are women not married because of love? Please don’t refer to another fatwa but answer a despaired Muslima.
Answer:
All perfect praise be to Allah, The Lord of the Worlds. I testify that there is none worthy of worship except Allah, and that Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, is His slave and Messenger.
This Hadeeth was narrated by Al-Bukhari and Muslim from Abu Hurayrah, may Allaah be pleased with him.
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, mentioned these four things based on the predominant custom of the people in regard to the motives that incite them to marry women.
The meaning of this Hadeeth is not intended to limit these motives to these four characteristics.
An-Nawawi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said:
“The correct meaning of this Hadeeth is that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, informed us about what people usually do, as they aim at these four characteristics. The last one according to them is the religious woman; so choose –o you who seeks to be guided –the religious one; not that he [Prophet] commanded (people) to do that.” [End of quote]
The evidence that proves that a man chooses to marry a woman for other than those four matters is that Jabir, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, asked him: “Did you get married? I [Jabir] said: “Yes.” He said: “A virgin or one who is previously-married?” I said, “A previously-married woman.” Whereupon, he said: “Why have you not married a virgin, so that you may play with her and she may play with you?” Jabir replied, “I have sisters (young in age) so I liked to marry a respectable previously married woman who could gather them all, comb their hair, and look after them.” [Al-Bukhari and Muslim]
The Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, did not overlook the matter of love.
Ibn ‘Abbaas, may Allaah be pleased with him, narrated that the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, said: “The best solution for those who love each other is to marry.” [Ibn Maajah]
Al-Manaawi, may Allaah have mercy upon him, said in at-Tayseer:
“He [the Prophet] wanted to emphasize that the best treatment for love sickness is marriage; this is its treatment, which cannot be overlooked for anything else if it is possible to achieve it [marriage].”
Allah knows best.